The words “quality time” sounded nice, but due to much repeated use/misuse have lost their charm. What is quality time? Quality time involves spending dedicated time together and giving each other undivided attention. It is characterized by deepening connections, meaningful conversations, and being fully present with each other. Quality time strengthens the bond between individuals.
What prompted me to write on this topic, is that I hear this term so very often. I have been living in Dubai for three decades and whenever anyone is visiting from out of town, they want to spend quality time with me. I always make sure I am there to catch up, and do whatever to make it an enjoyable time. I would not bore the others with details of my daily schedule (what time I eat lunch and dinner, what suits me, my work meetings etc) and how stretched I am. They are visiting and I am happy to adjust my daily work and routine to make it comfortable for them. This is all good and all are happy.
Being a strong believer of reciprocal treatment, what is not nice is when tables are reversed and I am visiting. One only hears about the busy schedule of others and their various issues (domestic, health or work). I feel subtlety is also lacking at times, because their busy life is made so evident. Not wanting to be an impediment, I get in touch with only the people who are more than happy to meet, who make the extra effort in terms of time and beating the traffic.
What I find quite ridiculous is when the busy bee people (who I didn’t meet when I was visiting because of their hectic schedule) are back in Dubai and want to meet me and spend quality time with me again. Are you serious? Thus, my dislike for the term “quality time” because people have made a mockery of this otherwise wonderful concept. People who make the time for you, don’t make a big deal about the effort involved (or the extra mile), because you matter to them. A fifteen minutes coffee with my father is top notch quality time. Just great conversations and care beyond measure. No mention of the traffic or how busy he is (one of the busiest people I know). There are some wonderful people who make all the effort, making everything look like a breeze. Over the years, it is easy to identify the real quality time people and the others who just use the term.
The point I am trying to make is that everyone has issues, but it depends how you maneuver the issues. It is about making the others feel wanted, and not just talking about your problems. I have quite a list of issues, some so very obvious when I enter with my walker. I am always reminding myself of my blessings. If you count your blessings, you will automatically complain less. And just because I am smiling, doesn’t mean I don’t have issues to deal with. We make time for the important people (like our bosses and smile at their spouses in spite of a terrible headache), but have a ready list of excuses for the rest of the world. There is such a shortage of genuine people and being authentic has become a treasured quality.
In the end, quality time is about creating moments in your life that have a higher value to you than others. Importantly, these moments are often shared with those who are closest to you. If you want those around you to feel valued then offering them these higher value moments in your life is what quality time is all about. Many people feel that they cannot always achieve this and that it is unrealistic given a hectic schedule or busy lifestyle. However, this ultimately comes down to the choices that individuals make. Is responding to that work enquiry really more important than getting home to the family? Ask yourself such questions when prioritising your life. There are no right or wrong answers. For some people, not creating enough quality time in their lives means that their relationship might deteriorate. Looking back, you may wonder why you ever prioritised anything else than the most important things/people to you.
John Lennon made this line famous “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.” It is totally up to us, to spend our time with our loved ones. That time is precious, no matter what name you give to it.
I am blessed I get to spend time with my loved ones. If you love someone, there is no effort required to make time for them. My mother didn’t teach me to say no. Actually, I do say no a lot, but more like a prefix, no worries, no problem, no stress.
