• NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent on a mission to Mars. Only one could go and they wouldn’t return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “A million dollars,” he answered, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.”
The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. “I want to give a million to my family,” he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”
The last applicant was a lawyer and when he was asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer’s ear, “Three million dollars.”
The interviewer asked, “Why so much more than the others?”
The lawyer replied, “If you give me $3 million, I’ll give you $1 million, I’ll keep $1 million, and we’ll send the engineer to Mars.”
• Q. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
A. Your Honor.
If you can manipulate news, a judge can manipulate the law. A smart lawyer can keep a killer out of jail, a smart accountant can keep a thief from paying taxes, a smart reporter could ruin your reputation- unfairly.
-Mario Cuomo
