Recently a friend told me I don’t want to be in the company of xyz because the latter is always insulting, so please don’t invite me when you are calling that person too. I realized sadly how common this kind of behaviour/bullying is.
Bullying is defined as “a form of aggressive behaviour in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words, or more subtle actions.” A bully can be an aggressive juvenile, an intimidating boss or colleague, a controlling romantic partner, a condescending family member, a shaming social acquaintance or a rude neighbour.
Insults can be physical, such as punching, slapping, or spitting. But more usually, they are verbal, whether direct or indirect. Facial expressions can substitute for speech, and things like a cold or constant stare, a false or exaggerated smile, or a raised eyebrow, depending on their intention, can also count as indirect verbal insults.
All of the above involve some kind of positive action and therefore count as insults of commission. But insults of omission are equally if not more common. Examples of insults of omission are evidently ignoring someone, not deferring to their age or rank, and not responding to their friendly openings, including basic eye contact.
I have generalized bullying in 5 categories.
Physical refers to the use of physical intimidation, which is more than obvious by its very action.
Tangible/material bullying. Using one’s formal power (i.e. title or position) or material leverage as forms of intimidation. The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse.” said Edmund Burke absolutely on point.
Verbal bullying. Threats, shaming, hostile teasing, insults, constant negative judgment and criticism, or racist, sexist, or homophobic language. The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches, the only difference is that they are not so obvious.
Passive-aggressive or covert bullying. This is a less frequently mentioned form of bullying, but in some ways it’s the most hurtful. With many bullies, you can see them coming because they are quick to make their intimidating presence known. A passive-aggressive or covert bully, reveals his/her true colours slowly. Examples of passive-aggressive and covert bullying include negative gossip, negative joking at someone’s expense, sarcasm, condescending eye contact, facial expression or gestures, mimicking to ridicule, deliberately causing embarrassment and insecurity, the invisible treatment, social exclusion, professional isolation, and deliberately sabotaging someone’s well-being, happiness, and success.
Cyberbullying. Thanks to the internet, this is another form of bullying that one has to deal with. Many types of tangible, verbal, and passive-aggressive behaviour mentioned above can be conveyed online via social media, texting, video, email, on-line discussion, and other digital formats. Identity theft is also a form of cyberbullying. So much harm can be caused without even raising a hand or voice at another.
What these five types of bullying have in common is that, when enacted repeatedly, they become patterns of physical, mental, and/or emotional abuse. Unless strong and effective boundaries are established, the bully is likely to repeat and intensify the abuse.
The most important thing to keep in mind about bullies is that they pick on those whom they perceive as weaker. So, as long as you remain passive and compliant, you make yourself a target. Many bullies are also cowards: When their victims begin to show backbone and stand up for their rights, a bully will often back down. This is true in schoolyards, as well as in domestic and office environments.
Bullying can affect physical and emotional health, both in the short term and later in life. It can lead to physical injury, social problems, emotional problems, and even death. Those who are bullied are at increased risk for mental health problems and long-term damage to self-esteem.
When confronting bullies, be sure to place yourself in a position where you can safely protect yourself, whether it’s standing tall on your own, having other people present as witnesses and support. In cases of physical, verbal, or emotional abuse, take help from counseling, law enforcement, or administrative professionals. It’s important to stand up to bullies—and you don’t have to do it alone.
“I realized that bullying never has to do with you. It’s the bully who’s insecure.” – Shay Mitchell sums up the message perfectly.
Insulting/taunting/bullying- needs to be stopped. Whether it is by distancing yourself from the bully, laughing it off or seeking help. The right comeback will make you come across as intelligent. It will remind your enemies not to mess with you. It will make you appear strong. Of course, you can also use funny insults on your best friends when they’re being a little too annoying. Something along these lines-
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
Someday you’ll go far. And I really hope you stay there.
You are proof God has a sense of humour.
