• A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket, and ordered a double scotch. A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, he told the bartender that he’s had enough. The bartender said, “I’ve got to ask you — what’s with the pocket business?” The man replied, “I have my lawyer’s pictures in there. When he starts to look honest, I’ve had enough.”
• Q. Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site?
A. Because the plumbers might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.
The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches.
Antonin Scalia
